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© 2004-2008 Linda Escaip
"I may be grumpy but I like you."
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It's true. Some people write in the loo.
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August 8, 2004
If you chant "Carmelita Vasquez" repeatedly while picturing the Buddha (any Buddha you choose) you will receive the benefits of that Buddha. I have no idea. All I know is I make the rules.
Really moist, delicious cake should be health food. Cake should be a vegetable. If I ruled the world, we'd eat cake for dinner, by golly, and that would be considered responsible eating. Salami would grow on trees and be a member of the apple family. It would also never cause stomachaches. Fuckin'-A.
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August 5, 2004
Isn't it odd how we spend so much time looking outside ourselves for what we think we need? We already have what we need—always did. That constant searching, endless, never quite getting there. That is because there is no "there" out there. It is in there. In here.
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August 3, 2003
There is a cherry Danish waiting for me in the kitchen, along with a fresh cup of red vanilla tea. Sometimes life smiles on me.
I am wondering about everything lately. If I ever figured it all out, what would I do? At this point in my life knitting does not interest me, although the act of knitting looks quite relaxing, like a form of meditation. I know it must be; you can see that just by looking at a knitting person's face. Songwriting is like that for me. I go somewhere else when I write.
I will keep trying to figure it all out, I suspect. But I will also keep hoping there will forever be enough mysteries to keep me rich with theories and wonder. I secretly love all those things unseen, those elusive beauts.
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August 1, 2004
I watched The Maldonado Miracle earlier. Very predictable and yet slightly enjoyable. I learned that Mare Winningham has beautiful feet. Anyway, in the movie, Peter Fonda's character says, "False hope never did anybody any good." What the fuck is false hope? Those two words get together and make absolutely no sense as a pair. False hope. Hope is hope, for the love of high quality dark chocolate.
We hope, and it is as simple as that. We hope things will work out, don't we? I know I do. And I am never kidding about that. False hope, I guess, would be hoping for something that was futile. So, apparently we are all expected to know the outcome of a situation before we reach it; that way we won't waste time on false hope. That is one of the stupidest things I have ever bumped into.
Keep hoping. Sometimes it seems as if it is all we have. Be wary of the day you find no hopefulness in your heart. Hope is simply what is is, neither true nor false. It is what can make each weary second of a situation more livable.
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July 26, 2004
I can't make sense out of anything anymore. You must know one thing in order to properly go on your way: there is no justice here, and I don't care what anyone says about it. Just when you think you've found some you realize that what you did find was just a sorry look-alike; something sort of similar, but not what you wanted. No one should be sent into the world without proper knowledge of this. And the whole business of having to learn this due to the lack of prior knowledge of it is just a waste of time.
Justice is not the sort of thing that should occur just every now and then.
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July 24, 2004
Is it possible to truly forgive the people who have deeply hurt us in our lives? I am wondering if I will ever forgive some people for the shitty things they have done. I know I try—I know that. I just don't know how to make it stick. I forgive and think that's the end of it and then I'm pissed off all over again later. Sometimes the forgiveness seems to last a while—even weeks—until the anger kicks in again.
It is said that forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. But seriously, it usually feels somewhat more satisfying to hold the mean shits accountable for their actions than to send them on their merry fucking way for my own good.
Apparently I have not mastered the art of forgiveness. I do hope I get it someday.
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July 14, 2004
Tits and roasted marshmallows—everybody loves those things.
I have never known anyone who does not love tits. Even if they don't see them in a sexual way, people love tits. Tits, by golly, are completely non-threatening. They are a joy to have at any gathering.
Tits for President!
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July 5, 2004
Does God love everyone the same? I do not love everyone the same. I don't even love everyone. I'd like to, though. Maybe one day I will. I do know that I feel like being kind to everyone. It is easier to be kind to some than to others. I don't get out much lately.
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June 27, 2004
I seriously have no idea. The internet is both good and bad for someone like me. The world is both good and bad for someone like me. I keep getting flashes in my head of a chocolate milkshake.
Everyone upstages everyone, don't they? Some people seem to be in a mad rush to do it too, and to prove how goddamned brilliant they think they are. All the competition gets right all over my nerves; waayy more than it gets on your nerves.
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June 25, 2004
For the love of god, everything is not my fault. I am inordinately bored with thinking I should not say this or that. And regretting things I do say—what is that? I am allowed to express my feelings. As Bea says, if we were not meant to communicate with each other, what would be the point of being here?
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June 24, 2004
I am from California. There is nothing I can do to change that. In this lifetime I will never be British, Australian, Spanish, or Canadian. But the world is mine while I am here. England is mine. Australia is mine. Spain is mine. Canada—mine. Believe me, the night sky is mine. It's all mine. And I take nothing away from you, because it is all yours too.
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June 23, 2004
I watched a hummingbird hover at the window this morning for about 30 seconds. She was telling Julian where to stick it, as if she had finally been given the chance to make her feelings known to the predators of this world. Good for her. She was saying her piece in a curt manner, with a little spitty sound here and another spitty sound there. Spitty Sounds. I'm going to open up a recording studio and name it that. I love that hummingbird.
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June 21, 2004
Sometimes I hear bees buzzing. What is that? Far off someplace, just a-buzzin'. Please say they are not after me.
I watched a bee poking his head in and out of this beautiful purple flower that sprouted on a tall weed in the backyard. Who decided weeds were undesirable? And why did so many people just blindly believe it? You should see that flower, and that hungry bee. So cute. He just kept diving into the mass of petals. I would very much like to see that again.
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June 18, 2004
Man, I have to cut off these nails before we leave for Stellan's show. Gig. Whatever. I feel like a drag queen. Weird, since I used to have long, painted nails. I thought that was the shit. Apparently now it isn't. Odd how things change.
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June 12, 2004
My right boob itches. Does that mean anything? Maybe I'm going to win a bra.
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May 24, 2004
Fashion magazines would like you to know that you will never measure up. Enjoy.
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March 30, 2004
Shy people need pockets. I know I do.
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March 19, 2004
E G B D F: Every Girl Bares Delicious Fruits. (Every Good Boy Does Fine, my ass.)
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March 16, 2004
Life is but a dream, so get a boat and gently row it. Or use the boat you already have. You might want to paint your boat if it's looking shabby. I don't know if Home Depot sells paint for boats. Boat paint. Call around.
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March 10, 2004
I actually had the thought occur to me yesterday: "If only Enchanted April were available on DVD, I would be happy." Rock on, bottomless pit!
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March 5, 2004
Fashion is nothing but a distraction.
The American flag is apparently out of fashion. Too much overkill during 9/11. People thought they would jump on the bandwagon and display Old Glory, even if only from their nipples, and that would mean something.
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February 24, 2004
Campbell Scott and Sara Gilbert have the same mouth and chin situation. I hope I am not the only one who knows this valuable information. I am spending far too much time in front of the TV looking at people's mouths. I am the Tooth Detective: the Tooth Dick.
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February 1, 2004
The human body is covered in butt cheeks, if you know where to look.
Fingernails do not begin at the shoulders.
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