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© 2004-2008 Linda Escaip
"I may be grumpy, but I like you."
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The Suns and Moons of the Grumpiest Girl in the Room.
Welcome to my journal, fluffypants.
You Know You Want To Read About My UFO Sightings 02-April-2005
I enjoyed some organic Rainbow Rings cereal earlier. They're like Fruit Loops, but without the hemlock. Yeah, Rainbow Rings cereal is a very gay-friendly cereal, a proud cereal. And it's tasty too. But you have to be secure with your sexuality, so no wimps.
Seriously, before I continue, I have to tell you this: you are looking exceptionally fetching today.
Somebody called me "white girl" today, and I swear, nobody's called me that since junior high. Which reminds me, there is a 1972 movie I adore called Black Girl starring the gorgeous and talented Leslie Uggams.
My walks have been glorious. I saved a moth from some certain water demise, and felt tremendous love for a cockroach. I saw this cockroach walking slowly across the sidewalk (maybe it was one of those big beetle things that look like cockroaches, but it doesn't matter) and thought how I have always been perfectly disgusted by them. When I was five and still slightly leery about what may or may not lurk in the restroom attached to our kindergarten classroom, I unintentionally stepped on a cockroach while approaching the sink to wash my hands. (I had previously peed my pants one day while trying to hold it in until I got home, and had since been lovingly introduced to the bathroom by the kind and beautiful Mrs. LaRose, who explained to me that the large twisted pipes on the ceiling above the toilet were simply large twisted pipes, and most certainly not a monster.)
Craaaaack!
The sound was awful. I felt instantly that something unpleasant had occurred beneath my shoe. And there it was, some poor, smashed cockroach, with ricotta cheese oozing out the sides.
So, when I saw that cockroach during my walk, I thought about how despised they are, and how all over the world, people gross out on them. We want to hang around cockroaches about as much as we want to go to the dentist, eh?* And I think we've all heard about the rather high suicide rate of dental professionals. Imagine if cockroaches somehow became aware of this global disgust aimed at them. I suspect we would witness an alarming rise in cockroach suicides. And all of this made me feel immense love for them. Compassion. A cockroach is just being what it is. Just as a wasp is unaware of its own utter horrification, a cockroach knows only its life and what it does. (I haven't yet felt unbounded love for the wasps of the world, but I have at least stopped having wasp-related nightmares for now.) All the creatures of the world are just being what they are: rats are simply ratting it up, snakes are doing their snaky thing, and cockroaches are just being cocky. Or roachy. They don't mean to be revolting or frightening or annoying.
Please count on me for all of your bug-related lessons on compassion.
OK,
so here's the part where I tell you about the three UFOs I have seen in
my life. There are actually four of them, but three different incidents.
I made brief mention of this in an entry titled 62
Things You May Or May Not Know About Your
In 1997 I became more fascinated by outer space than ever. That was the year my grandma passed away unexpectedly. After her death, I found myself looking to the night sky for solace. We were in Arizona for her funeral, and each night I would spend time alone in my grandparents' backyard, gazing at the vast desert sky, waiting for something. There were only stars.
Two days after returning home to California, I was home alone one evening at the old house, bringing in some stuff from my car. As I was walking down the side porch steps, I looked above and saw a brilliant blob of light traveling north in my direction at a slow pace. It stopped and remained still, midair. There was no sound that I could detect. I stood still myself, as the light seemed to be shining right at me. You know how sometimes an airplane's lights look intensely bright, like they're shining right in your eyes even though the plane is miles up? That's how this light appeared to be shining right at me. The whole experience felt extremely personal, though, since the light had stopped moving when I noticed it. There it lingered, and the space between me and the light seemed like nothing. And then it zipped away at an unbelievable speed in the opposite direction—south. Again there was no sound. I watched it until it disappeared, which didn't take long.
The following year my grandfather passed away. A few days after returning home from his funeral out of state, My Love and I were getting groceries out of the car one night. I looked up at the sky to the north and saw two lights flying side by side, very slowly southward. Upon noticing them, they stopped, lingering like stars. They were much farther away than the first light. I remember wanting to say something but feeling too wrapped up in concentrating on not losing them; I couldn't believe it was happening. And like the light previously, they sped off in the opposite direction at some crazy speed and vanished. And again, the experience felt personal. Maybe that's how everyone feels when they witness something like that.
One night in 2003 at the new house, The Lovely Bea and I were having a swim. There it was in the sky, that light, flying very slowly toward the north. I have no idea why I never just saw these lights and assumed they were regular old planes—I just didn't. I have had UFO dreams since I was a little girl, always exciting and completely positive, and perhaps that is part of the reason I have had the feeling not to look away and assume those moving lights were ordinary. This light was closer, like the first. It stopped moving after I noticed it, and this time I was able to say something, albeit slightly like Tarzan talk, amid my excited motioning toward the sky.
We both watched as it zoomed speedily and silently out of site in the opposite direction. And now I had a witness to it. But Bea was no stranger to UFOs.
In 1969, when she was in second grade at a Brentwood, California private school, her class was enjoying some fine playtime in the yard when they all looked up, distracted by the clamor of helicopters quickly approaching. Not far above their heads hovered a classic flying saucer, with what she said must have been about a 15 foot diameter. It remained, still and silent, until the helicopters—about 5 in total—attempted to surround it. No problem for this sassy disc; it simply ascended above them, seemingly without worry, and sped off, the helicopters in mad pursuit.
Beazus doesn't remember anyone talking about it afterward, and doesn't recall telling her mom.
And there they are, toots; my UFO stories. If you feel like sharing yours, please feel free. And remember, no Riverdancing while the cake is trying to rise.
Someone looked up sexy ho wig on Yahoo earlier, and I am pleased to say they found my site this way. Back off my wigs, though. Yo.
Quote From My World
"Were they 'come fuck me' boots?"
over here and shake my hand' boots."
Well, I'm off to erase everything I ever believed and start over. It's nice to begin fresh from time to time. Thanks for reading.
Linda
* Be nice to your dentist!
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